There are many misconceptions about trauma. My hope is that by the end of this article you have a better understanding of trauma, and more willingness to get the help you deserve.
There are two kinds of trauma that are commonly discussed in therapy, “Big T” trauma and “Little t” trauma. Both types of trauma can have a major impact on a person’s emotional, mental, physical, social, and spiritual well-being. Big T trauma is a major event that occurs that is traumatic or disturbing in nature such as a parent dying when you were young, living through a natural disaster, or witnessing a devastating event like 9/11. Little t trauma occurs when traumatic events happen repetitively over time, such as being repeatedly berated by a parent, experiencing emotional or physical neglect, being repeatedly touched by a teacher in a sexual way, or witnessing domestic violence in your childhood home. This type of trauma is usually relational in nature, meaning that a person, often someone you know and trust, is enacting this trauma upon you. Little t trauma can also consist of getting in trouble in the 1st grade by your teacher for sharing a secret and writing your name on the board, or not being believed when you disclosed that you were experiencing pain, illness, or abuse. Little t trauma can be just as painful as a big T, and can go under the radar creating issues for an individual later in life.
Something else to keep in mind is that despite someone witnessing or experiencing the same traumatic event you did, it doesn’t mean they were impacted in the same way. There is more and more research about why some individuals develop a traumatic stress disorder following a traumatic event and why others don’t. Though your siblings may recall the same things you did as a child, these events may not affect them as intensely as they did you. It is important to avoid judging or hiding your pain. Masking the pain an event created for you can only worsen the emotional distress, leaving you prone to creating more trauma and distress in your life. One of the major factors that characterize what causes trauma is when our support system does not understand, or if we don’t even have support during the difficult time. When a devastating event exceeds our resources to cope with it effectively we find ourselves in a place that can feel impossible to manage.
So how do we manage traumatic stress when we have experienced Big T or Little t trauma? How do we deal with daily life stressors when we have been impacted by trauma? Depending on how we deal with stress, we can either overcome it or be overcome by it. Stress, no matter what it’s source, can affect our sleep, health, work productivity, relationships, and overall quality of life. It can be especially difficult to manage stress when we have unresolved trauma.
Here are ways to deal stress while dealing with a past or present traumatic event:
- Reducing hyper arousal: Hyper arousal is the state of activation our body resorts to when dealing with anxiety or stress. Yoga has proven to be great assistance in working through stress and or memories of trauma. In learning how to chant, breathe, and be present in the now, one can slow the mind down. Feeling safe in your own body can be difficult yet possible with practice. Allowing your breath to be your anchor allows the sympathetic nervous system to relax, decreasing the arousal of the mind and body.
- Mindfulness: Stress and trauma can create a variety of different responses in our bodies. We live in such a fast-paced world that we can easily become out of touch with what our bodies are telling us. Learning to stop and notice when we get migraines, stomachaches, heaviness in our chests, or tightness when we breathe can help us move through an emotion instead of the emotion controlling us. Creating peace with the present moment allows relaxation to take its course and continues to reduce symptoms of hyper arousal.
- Support System: We are social beings, and allowing connection for understanding, love and companionship during difficult times can assist us in realizing we aren’t alone in the midst of pain. Allowing transparency with others allows trust and healing within, and this can promote resilience. Group therapy, individual therapy, friendships, family and animals are all great ways to create connection. Relationships can restore our webs of safety once broken by a traumatic stressful event. Without feelings of safety, and reliability healing from the past is nearly impossible. Keep in mind a lot of this is easier said than done. Those that have been gravely traumatized don’t initially feel safe with others, and this is to be respected and explored with your therapist.
- Acceptance: Accepting the things that have happened to us does not mean we must agree or believe that what happened to us was okay. Acceptance simply means that we want to live free from the chains of negative emotions. Acknowledging what has happened is crucial in leaving the past in the past. Acceptance means learning to live with what happened to you in such a way that it no longer has power over you. Liberation from the past opens up new opportunities and a fresh perspective on yourself, others, and the future.
- Trauma Therapy: With the assistance of the techniques listed above, you now have effective tools to assist you as you move through the trauma therapy process. There are various ways to work through your trauma, and there isn’t just one way to do it! EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, and Hypnosis are among the many trauma modalities out there to help trauma survivors. Moving through this difficult yet life-changing work doesn’t have to be torture nor must it consist of reliving your trauma during every single therapy session. With a trusted therapist who is trained in trauma recovery, anything is possible. Many people are terrified of the idea of doing this kind of work, yet they are often using up so much time and energy trying to keep painful memories, flashbacks, fears at bay that they aren’t living the life they want or deserve. Reclaim your life and find the help you need!
“Beneath the surface of the protective parts of trauma survivors there exists an undamaged essence, a self that is confident, curious, and calm…”
Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.
This article is inspired by Bessel Van Der Kolk MD book The Body Keeps The Score
No comment yet, add your voice below!